Understanding and Raising Girls -- Live Chat

I just found out PBS Engage is hosting a live chat with Rachel Simmons--author of the New York Times bestseller Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls.

Check out the chat:

Tuesday, December 9, 2008 4:00pm EST

They'll post a transcript for those who can't make it.

There are some great questions already posted:

"How do I teach my daughters (4 1/2 & 2) not to emulate the images they see on magazine covers and TV?"

"What are the Top 3 Tactics we can employ as parents to raise stronger, more self-sufficient and HAPPY girls."

Got any advice for these parents or questions of your own?

Barbie Beats Bratz

A judge today said that Bratz makers can no longer sell their dolls. It has nothing to do with their sexy outfits and excessively made up faces though.

Apparently Bratz infringed on a Mattel copyright. According to Salon:

"For several years, Mattel has promised to 'litigate to the death' over what it called (for realz, no joke) a 'Barbie genocide.' After winning a $100 million lawsuit against MGA, Mattel decided to wage its own 'genocide,' and called for all Bratz dolls to be impounded and destroyed. It's like a feud between rival prom queens, only in the language of, like, actual war."

Oh goodness--the jokes are gonna write themselves!

So now that Mattel owns the Bratz concept (they must be so proud!), who knows if they'll destroy all the dolls or start selling them. Barbie and Bratz all under one big Mattel umbrella of unrealistic body images for girls? Whoa that might be too much for me! Let's hope they opt to destroy the Bratz dolls.

Equal Play

My mentor and friend Farra just shared some awesome videos from the V is for Victory campaign. They're raising awareness about how girls sports still aren't treated fairly at lots of schools.



I could relate to this undercover video showing the drastic differences between the boys and girls facilities at one school. In my high school the gym only had a boys locker room. The coach's changing room (which was the size of a large walk-in closet) had been converted into a makeshift girls locker room. So every class period 40-50 girls had to squeeze into that tiny room to change. Some people changed in shifts and some people resorted to just pulling their sweats on over their street clothes in the hallway.

One day at the end of class we went back to the locker room to change back into our regular clothes and the door had been removed! When we complained to the male gym teachers they brushed us off by saying we better hurry or we'd be late for class. It was pretty unbelievable.

Do you have horror stories about inferior equipment, not having uniforms or unacceptable facilities?

Kim Coles Rocks a "Girls Rock" Tee

The Love Your Body Day event I went to was lots of fun again this year. Actress-comedian Kim Coles was the host and she stopped by the Sticker Sisters table to buy a Girls Rock shirt. Cool!

There were performances, speakers and a fashion show of REAL women. Plus there were massages, but I can never get away from the Sticker Sisters table long enough to get one! Maybe next year...

Love Your Body Day 2008

I'm all about being happy with your body everyday, but it's still fun to have one day a year to focus on it.

I'll have a Sticker Sisters table at the annual Love Your Body Day celebration in West Hollywood tomorrow. If you're in the neighborhood, stop by! It's free and there'll be music, comedy, and a "real women" fashion show. And the icing on the cake is free massages and self-defense lessons. Nice!

Love Your Body Day
Sunday, October 12, 2008
12:00 - 4:00 p.m.

West Hollywood Park Auditorium
647 N. San Vicente Boulevard
West Hollywood, CA 90069

Check out my recap of last year's event.

Also here are 10 Ways to Celebrate Your Body Sticker Sisters Style.

More about the Love Your Body Day campaign.

More Spooky Stereotypes

So it's old news that Halloween costumes for women and girls keep getting "sexier" and more stereotypical. Not to mention all the racist "ethnic" costumes. And then there's the "sexy," "ethnic" costumes. Those really take the cake.

But apparently there's a new fad for men and boys. Move over scary costumes, this year "muscle" costumes are all the rage. From "Mini Muscle Man Infant" to "Macho Biker Man Adult" costumes, there's no scarcity of stereotypes for guys either.


Tolerance.org has a list of questions to help identify stereotypes in costumes:

WEARING A FUNNY COSTUME?
Ask yourself: Is the humor based on "making fun" of real people, real human traits or cultures?

Though intended to be funny, last season’s "Mental Patient" costume by Disguise was considered demeaning, dehumanizing, and humiliating to individuals struggling with a mental illness and their families. Complete with a "Hannibal" type mask and a straightjacket, the costume reinforced stereotypes and fears about persons with mental illness.


WEARING A SCARY COSTUME?
Ask yourself: Is the "fear factor" based on real forms of violence or grotesque depictions of human traits?

"This scary stud can empty out a full house just by walking through the door," touts the tag line for Fright Catalog’s "Vato Loco" mask. The bandana clad, tattooed, brown-skinned vinyl creation makes light of gang violence, which takes a serious toll on families and neighborhoods across the country. The costume also sends the message that Latinos are violent.


WEARING A HISTORICAL COSTUME?
Ask yourself: If the costume is meant to be historical, does it further misinformation or historical and cultural inaccuracies?

The "Indian" get-up prevails each year as culture-turned-costume. But did you know few Native Americans wore buckskin and headbands and even fewer wore them together? Did you know "war paint" and feathers carry religious meaning and were never worn by Native American children?


WEARING A "BEAUTIFUL" COSTUME?
Ask yourself: If the costume is meant to be beautiful, are these characteristics drawn from commercial references, such as movie characters?

Too often, beautiful at Halloween means white, blonde, princess masks. What statement does your Halloween costume make about what constitutes beauty -- and about who is beautiful and who isn't?


WEARING A "CULTURAL" COSTUME?
Ask yourself: Does the costume reduce cultural differences to jokes?

People like Leigha Baugham, a former communications student at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, believe when it comes to picking Halloween costumes, we should "keep our hands out of the melting pot."

There are a zillion great things to dress up as that don't promote stereotypes. My favorite costumes have been a tube of toothpaste, a jellyfish, a gecko, a teabag, and a picnic. What great costumes have you worn or seen?

Love Your Body Day Recap

Hollywood NOW's Love Your Body Day celebration was really cool. I can't believe I forgot to bring a camera though! If anyone has pictures, I'd love to post some.

I think the highlight of the event for me was getting to see Joy Nash perform her "Fat Rant" live.

If you haven't seen her video yet, check it out...


What did you do for Love Your Body Day?

P.S. Everyday should be Love Your Body Day. So what did you do today?

10 Ways to Celebrate Your Body Sticker Sisters Style

October 18, 2007 is the National Organization for Women Foundation’s tenth annual Love Your Body Day.

10 Ways to Celebrate Love Your Body Day:
(adapted from the NOW Foundation's suggestion list with a little Sticker Sisters twist)

1. Go to a Love Your Body Day event or create your own. Sticker Sisters will be taking part in Hollywood NOW’s event.

2. Get some blank t-shirts and decorate them with body positive messages. Or proclaim Action Not Glamour or Girls Rock with a Sticker Sisters tee.

3. Don’t buy products from companies that use negative images of women in their ads. Send them letters letting them know how you feel about their ads.

4. Get a group together and go paste This Insults Women, This insults Girls and This Insults Everyone stickers on everything you find offensive.

5. Listen to positive music that makes you feel good about yourself and your body. Try India.Arie’s “Video,” Northern State’s “Girl For All Seasons ,”and Salt-N-Pepa’s “Ain’t Nothin’ But A She Thing” to get you started.

6. Write down some things you like about yourself. Write yourself a poem or a love letter. If you’re having trouble getting started, our Up Words Girls magnetic poetry kit will inspire your creative juices.

7. Get moving for fun not to fit into a smaller size. Spice up your running shoes with some Girl Power or Action Not Glamour shoelaces and take a long walk, do some bedroom dancing, shoot some hoops, whatever!

8. Throw an indulgence party where everyone wears whatever is most comfortable, eats whatever they want, talks openly, and guilt is left at the door. Pick up some Sticker Sisters party favors for your guests.

9. Don’t talk about your weight or weigh yourself (especially in front of young girls).

10. Spread the word about Love Your Body Day to your family and friends. The NOW Foundation even has some e-cards you can send.

“Chaste but Chic?” Gimme a break.

Have you been hearing about this so-called “modesty movement?” Of course I’m all for providing alternatives to Bratz style clothes (have you seen the latest Sticker Sisters t-shirts?), but this “modesty movement” makes me gag.

They’re trying to push a "chaste but chic" dress code on girls. Not surprising that this movement is connected to faith-based organizations and abstinence only advocates. But perhaps the scariest part is that the mother of the modesty movement, Wendy Shalit, is still trying to blame sexual harassment and rape on women’s "lack of modesty." And here I thought we were past that ridiculous idea that a women is "asking for it" if she wears a short skirt. Ugh.

Ann Ream (founder of Voices and Faces Project) says it well in the LA Times:

"Scratch the surface [of the modesty movement], and what's supposed to be good for girls reveals itself to be all about the boys: dressing in a way that doesn't over-excite them, demurring so that their manhood remains intact and holding tight to our sexuality until we find a husband who is worthy of that ultimate 'prize.'"

More
LA Times: "The false modesty movement"
Talk of the Nation: "Modern Girls and the Modesty Movement"

Middle School Flashback (but in a good way)

This summer has been one middle school flashback after another. But luckily they’ve all been good! I met Hillary Carlip who wrote the book Girl Power and I saw Team Dresch perform. Reading material and music that helped me survive middle school.

But the coolest flashback has been getting a copy of Belle magazine. The magazine was started by Kelcie Angstadt when she was 13 years old (she’s now 15). It totally made me think of how I wanted to write a zine when I was 13, but didn’t feel ready to put my opinions out there with my writing. I ended up starting Sticker Sisters instead, which helped me find my voice in a different way. But I love seeing girls express themselves through writing.

The July/August issue of Belle has an article about how to "Be Green" and a quiz asking, "Do you care what other people think?" The title of the quiz might not sound that different from mainstream teen magazines, but the advice at the end sure is! It celebrates individualism and offers suggestions for getting away from today's "fashion-obsessed" society.

In an article on "The Great Debate about Weight," Kelcie writes:

"We are all different sizes, and I hope that I live long enough to see an era where women can be proud of that fact, not hide from it. If we accept that we are different, it will dissolve those thoughts in the back of our mind, like 'She's so much prettier than I am' or 'I wish I looked that good in a bikini.' Why focus on thoughts like that when they only bring you down. It doesn’t help anyone, and especially not you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if you train yourself to refocus that eye, you’ll see that you are beautiful, size zero or not."

Powerful words. Keep an eye on Belle—in a few years it just might give Bitch and Bust a run for their money!

Girls & Writing
WriteGirl
New Moon Magazine
Teen Voices